i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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