i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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