Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize