if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize