just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
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Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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