i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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