I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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