I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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