Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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