I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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