I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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