Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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