i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize