I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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