i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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