its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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