my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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