The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Please don't give away my fajitas
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize