I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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