he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize