so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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