Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
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Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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