I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize