i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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