i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize