Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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