to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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