At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize