yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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