Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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