I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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