this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize