Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize