I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize