I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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