Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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