my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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