We're like a lot better than the average bears
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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