No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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