I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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