so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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