out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize