1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize