Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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