yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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