I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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