margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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