NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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