i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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