Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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