Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize